JoKeane Around

Missives from the land of Keane


Posted by keanetwins on February 17, 2014

Dear Internet,

Watts, lumens, incandescent, LED, halogen, bayonet 22mm, please.

Just in case you ever wondered, the list of things I can now bore for Australia on just got slightly larger because knowing every number related to mine or the children’s existence by heart as well as our energy useage by day for gas and electricity was simply not enough. To put it another way, the anti-monster lamp that lives in the twins room (the one that does an absolutely sterling job of keeping the boogeyman away on accounts of I have not seen the bogeyman even ONCE despite some alleged near misses when the lamp has been turned off by accident) has been deemed Too Bright with it’s existing 5w LED thingy  in situ (warm daylight, B22 base, in case you were even remotely curious).


Clearly bogeyman prophylaxis is extremely important if you are the one getting up to the screaming at 3am and therefore, accordingly, I have just spent a quiet morning learning about the new fangled million dollar LED thingys that seem to have replaced the traditional incandescent globe.

Weirdly, despite insanely long lifespan claims, I seem to go through them at more or less the same rate as the cheap jobbies. Odd, that.

Anyway, if you wondered, a 5w led globe puts out about 200 lumens on average which is apparently enough to scare a bogeyman into the next postcode and that’s apparently too far. I want about 100 lumens output which WOULD have been a 10 watt normal blasted light bulb up and until the energy police made my life hard.

Oddly enough, knowing all of this junk about lights is not going to be on either the SAQ or MCQ exam I am meant to be studying for today and, really, given the effort I’ve just wasted in finding incandescent 10watt nightlight globes in the UK, that is plain unfair.

Yes, I know the lumens of each of the nighlights in my garden above, too, but that is not the reason for including the blurry picture because, Internet, did you notice something else different?

The garage has new clothes!

New clothes that don’t blind the unwary in summer.

New clothes that aren’t all bent at the bottom.

New clothes that don’t rattle open and shut with a THUMP.

New clothes that won’t pull bolts out of the wall due to vibrations from above.

New clothes that let me open my car boot without hitting anything.

Is it wrong to be excited by panel-lift technology and globes?


PS. Go for the LED spotlights in the garden- they use 1 watt each and you can use EVEN MOAR of them before you reach the maximal output of the transformer.


I only have four in my front garden but I Could Have More if I Wanted and that is what matters.

PSS. Nightshift again this week. Halp!

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3 Responses to “Door”

  1. Not wrong to get excited about that. I think too few people realise exactly how exciting that is.

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